I don't drink, but I literally roll on the floor laughing every time I read through a funny drinking game. So naturally, I thought it best to invent one that requires coffee instead of alcohol.
So pour yourself a fresh cup and enjoy.
Stay-At-Home-Mom Drinking Game
*Meant to be played with coffee. Very, VERY strong coffee. I cannot be held accountable should you choose to play this game with other sorts of drinks.
1. Take a drink every time a Tiny Human pulls out a handful of your hair.
2. Take a drink every time a child feels the need to stay in the bathroom with you while you use the toilet. Take another if said child then shouts some variation of, "Yay Momma! You peed on the potty! You get a gummy!".
3. When you check in the back of your baby's diaper for poop, and end up with poop on your hand…wash your hands. And then take a drink.
4. Take a drink every time you have to sit through the theme songs for ANY show on Disney Junior or Treehouse.
5. Take TWO DRINKS every time one of those songs gets stuck on repeat in your head. You forget your own phone number half the time, but the words to "Hot Diggity Dog" are forever lodged in your brain.)
6. Grab a handful of chocolate almonds every time you're waiting for your coffee to re-heat in the microwave. Then take a drink and probably burn your mouth while the baby dumps a whole box of cheerios on the floor.
7. Take a drink when your kids decide to fight over a broken toy neither of them have even noticed for about a month.
8. Drink every time you accidentally look in a mirror.
9. And every time you realize your shirt is on inside out.
10. And/or backwards.
11. Pour yourself a fresh cup when suddenly the house seems very small and the only thing that might keep both kids happy is going for a walk. And your husband is gone with the truck. With your stroller in the back.
12. Take a drink when you realize the only time you change out of your yoga pants is when there is pee, poop, or spit-up on them. And sometimes not even then.
13. Re-heat what's left at the bottom of your mug, and finish it off when you hear, "NO. I WON'T" for the seventeenth time.
Congratulations…you have so much caffeine in your body that you can no longer feel your fingers and toes. Have a great day…and thanks for playing ;)
**** Disclaimer: I love my Two Tiny Humans very much and there is no place I'd rather be than at home with them. (Or, you know, at a spa or on a beach somewhere…)